even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
