it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
