It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
