"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
