You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
