Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A+ Viking dick
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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