I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
