I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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