Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
