She is in my trunk
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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