just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
