you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
