You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
