that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
