Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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