Don't make out with my wife yet
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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