i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i will never coherently bang her
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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