Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
