I have demons in me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize