So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
