i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
