They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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