Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
