I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
