hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
