o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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