4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you still have your period?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My penis needs a shock collar
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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