Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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