My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
