It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
