My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
