I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize