when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I should be sponsored by Trojan
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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