You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
