Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
