pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
