Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
