I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
