Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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