If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
