Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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