Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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