i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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