Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
