Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just found puke in my bra..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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