Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
