the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
