ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
