No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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