Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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