Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
