Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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