I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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