with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
