This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
