Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need a shit load of segways right now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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