No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
