I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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