That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
