Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
