4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
