he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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