so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
