we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
