FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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