but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need moral support for this bender
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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