what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
